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April 10th, 2000, 03:49 AM
#1
Inactive Member
another fragment of next saturday's chapters. just wrote it five minutes ago. this is, of course, a first pass. comments and suggestions are definitely welcome.
Faye Greener's apartment, 9.32a
She tried to imagine the conversation. It would probably take place in an examination room at the hospital. He would appear in the doorway breathless. The first thing he would see, of course, would be her left hand wrapped in gauze, maybe a little blood still clinging to her fingertips or spotting the front of her shirt. But the first thing he would do would be to put his arms around her. She wouldn't mind that. Brothers and sisters do that all the time.
Obligations met, he would then pull back and take her wounded hand in both of his. Who would speak first? Faye decided she probably would. In such circumstances, he would wait for her to draw herself out.
"I was cleaning it."
"Mom's gun?"
She would nod. "It went off and..."
"That's it? It just went off?"
She knew his methods of manouvering a conversation and could match him move for move. Having given him the relevant information, she would wait for him to speak.
He would wait as well but finally give up and forge ahead.
"Faye, you've cleaned that damn thing a million times. What the fuck?"
A good diversionary tactic would be to take offense.
"I don't need blame, Steve. Thanks for pointing out what an idiot I am!"
"I don't mean that." He would shake his head and look her in the eye with heartfelt concern. "But I'm sorry. You're right, you don't need this from me right now. What do the doctors say?"
She might shed a tear at this point, possibly babble -- a little hysteria might get him off track.
"They said a lot of stuff," she would sob. "Nerve damage, reconstructive surgery... loss of motor skills."
His head would spring up at the last words. "How much loss?"
She could amplify the tears and hysteria at this point.
Of course, eventually the question of how long it would be (if ever) before she could play again would arise. By no means, however, would she raise or allude to it herself. That would give it all away. There would be more back and forth. He would hold her, whisper to her, kiss her forehead. She would experience a curious mixture of comfort and apprehension as she genuinely enjoyed his attentions while waiting for him to bring up the question. Eyes closed, she would relax in his warmth, feel secure in the knowledge that he would do anything for her -- could do anything for her. A tightness, however, would build in her stomach.
He would not be holding or touching her when he spoke the words. He would most likely be just out of arm's reach, probably leaning against a countertop, arms lax at his sides.
"So we're probably looking at a few months at least before you can play?"
She would not answer of course, but she was confused about whether or not she would think it better to look him in the eye or stare off at some mundane object as if the answer to the question were too difficult to contemplate.
He would then fix his eyes on her and remain close-mouthed for as long as it took. At this point, it would become a simple test of will.
If she could get through that conversation without blurting out the truth, she decided, she would be alright. The following months would be consumed with prep for surgery, the procedure itself, physical therapy and outpatient care. He would drive her to the doctor and be at her side every step of the way. He would be attentive, positive and supportive. She would feed off his energy, and eventually she would recover. By that time, however, the band would be a memory. The bass player and drummer would be involved in other projects. Steve would certainly go on to something bigger and better. He would try to get Faye involved, but she would not be completely inactive during these months. She would have found something to occupy her time, something she could pass off as a new passion, something to dedicate her own energies to at the expense of all else.
Of course, he would know. It would come clear to him in the time they would spend together -- if it were not immediately apparent the moment he came upon her in the examination room. He would accuse her with his eyes, perhaps a tone in his voice. He would tell her in his own way that he knew -- that the notion of her blowing a hole the size of a silver dollar through her left palm by happy accident was simply ridiculous. It was second nature to Faye, as it had been to her mother, to always treat a handgun as if it were loaded, even when you would bet everything you loved in the world that it was not. Steve would know this, and he would probably imagine the scene during which she, alone in her room, cupped her palm around the muzzle, angled the weapon down so as not to fire the projectile through the wall and, taking a deep breath, pulled the trigger.
He would know. But he would never accuse her out loud. She was as certain of all of this as she was that the sun would rise tomorrow morning or her mother would never come home again. The only thing she did not know was whether or not Steve would understand why she had done it. Would that question always be between them? Could his collosal (but quite useful) ego have blinded him to the truth?
take care
---jones
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"self-employed"
new chapters in Works & Days
a punk rock romance in words, music & art
http://www.freehomepages.com/worksanddays
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April 10th, 2000, 06:30 AM
#2
Inactive Member
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April 10th, 2000, 11:37 AM
#3
Inactive Member
I had to stop myself from reading this - don't want to spoil the story, you see.
*looks at gollum's reply* I'll get the chair.
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April 10th, 2000, 08:38 PM
#4
Inactive Member
strapped to a chair by gollum? hmmm... not an entirely disagreeable scenario, but i think you've got me confused with jelymo.
as for the story being finished, if that's what you're waiting for you better settle in for the long haul. when i started this back in july, i had an outline for a story that concluded in may or june of this year. but along the way, so many sub-plots and such have developed that we're nowhere near the finish i first had planned. there's still a ton of things that have yet to happen before irene can [!@#$@^%$#&@^$^#*%^$!!#$##$$!!!%ZZZZZZZZZ!] with marie sitting there watching while val ends up [!@#$@^%$#&@^$^#*%^$!!#$##$$!!!%ZZZZZZZZZ!] but takes off after her. and before eugene can be [!@#$@^%$#&@^$^#*%^$!!#$##$$!!!%ZZZZZZZZZ!] at steve's prompting, faye still has to [!@#$@^%$#&@^$^#*%^$!!#$##$$!!!%ZZZZZZZZZ!] with sylvia and badger because they don't [!@#$@^%$#&@^$^#*%^$!!#$##$$!!!%ZZZZZZZZZ!].
got that?
take care
---jones
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April 11th, 2000, 06:09 AM
#5
HB Forum Owner
I refrained from reading the draft tonight. Can I make it until Saturday?
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May 2nd, 2000, 01:29 AM
#6
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May 5th, 2000, 01:05 AM
#7
HB Forum Owner
Jones, it works almost as a short story set alone piece too.
I'd like to see more on it. But the way it is, is in itself intriguing.
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May 5th, 2000, 01:04 PM
#8
Inactive Member
AsIs, if you want to see the finished, expanded version of the chapter, go to:
http://www.freehomepages.com/worksanddays/partxx18.html
thanks all.
take care
---jones
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"teen-age fan club"
new chapters in Works & Days
a punk rock romance in words, music & art
http://www.freehomepages.com/worksanddays
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May 5th, 2000, 03:13 PM
#9
HB Forum Owner
Gah! Stop teasing me like that. Sheesh.
Oh, yeah, great read (as usual). 
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Branflakes, the ninja lesbian milk getter.
The one called "brain".
I walk the path, trying not to get pulled into the weeds.
God never gives us more than we can handle.
"See that star...the one shining brighter than all the others? I know the girl who hung it there."
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